Ch-ch-changes

Yesterday was a big day for me. I moved out for the first time, and moved in with my boyfriend.

I said goodbye to my dad and my brother the night before, and my brother started playing that Beatles song 'She's Leaving Home' which nearly set off the waterworks, but I managed to reign it in. My mum and I set off in the morning for Athlone, with our little green Hyundai Getz almost as weighed down with boxes as I am after a Chinese takeaway. We laughed and chatted the whole way there, and stopped halfway through at McDonald's for obligatory hash browns and coffee. I was half excited and half filled with dread, because for all the excitement of unpacking with my mum I knew she'd soon have to go and we'd have to say our goodbyes.

My mum was such a fantastic help through the whole moving process, I dunno what we would've done without her. I'd have probably ended up moving in with just a toothbrush and a pillow! I managed to sneak nearly everything I wanted to bring in the car. It was like car Tetris trying to get everything to fit, but we did it (well, I say we, really it was my mum).

The next big hurdle was trying to get everything from two cars (ours and Laurence's) up 4 flights of stairs. Our apartment block doesn't have a lift so there was some serious manouevering required. Thankfully Laurence asked Shane, a friend of ours (who happens to be really strong) if he would mind helping us lift some boxes and he obliged. He was a fantastic help and we had all the boxes up within a couple of hours. He even unblocked the gutters for us! The lads sat down playing a video game - typical boy, the first thing Laurence unpacked was his PS4 - while we cleaned, unpacked and then went to Mr Price and Tesco to get a few last minute bits we didn't have.

I tried to hold it together while I said goodbye to mum, but it was incredibly hard. I didn't want to start crying because I knew I'd set her off crying and it'd make it even tougher! Laurence and I waved her goodbye and then went back up to say goodbye to Shane a.k.a kick him out. Laurence left me in the apartment for a few minutes while he waved Shane off. I decided to read my mum's blog post while I had a few moments to myself. Poor Laurence walked back into the apartment to find me crying my eyes out in front of a bowl of half-eaten cold spaghetti hoops. All the emotions I'd built up had finally culminated and the floodgates were open. We had a little cuddle as I sobbed onto his shoulder and got snot and makeup and tears all over his shirt (#sexy), and then he started crying because I was crying.

Last night was such a weird night. Our first night living together. We went to Lidl to get bin bags and kitchen roll (exciting) and then made our first dinner in the new house. I lit a scented candle and we enjoyed our food with a glass of wine, making a toast to a new chapter.

I was so emotionally exhausted I didn't want to do anything else so we just snuggled up on the sofa, watched half of a shite film on Netflix (it was called Before We Go - don't watch it - Chris Evans I'm ashamed of you), and got drunk off the gorgeous bottle of wine my mum gave us as part of a fab housewarming hamper.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit homesick and I miss my family like crazy already. It's like a piece of me has been taken out and I'm wandering around trying to feel normal again. I sat at the table this morning eating my breakfast on my own as Laurence is at work, and I felt very lonely.

I'll miss talking to my mum every night before she went to sleep, sitting on her bed and having a gossip or a bitching session or just a laugh. I'll miss her coming into my room to wake me up so we could go shopping. I'll miss cooking dinner for her and dancing in the kitchen. But I know it will get easier, because hopefully my family will come to stay - we have a spare room, ooh get us - and I can sit at the table at night with them having a cup of tea and a chitchat. I can go shopping in Athlone with my mum and give her a tour of the town. And I can cook her dinner yet again, except this time in a different kitchen with a much smaller fridge and a niggling worry about how much electricity the oven uses.

Despite everything, Laurence and I are so happy we're together and already we've made this apartment feel like a home. And despite all the boxes and bags around us and checking the Pinergy electricity meter every few minutes - I could get used to this.